Here is Exactly What to Say in Your First Online Dating Message

Exactly What to Say in an Online Dating Icebreaker

If you're not getting many responses back from your icebreaker messages and the ladies you're contacted aren't even checking out your profile after having read them, then it's probable that you need a little guidance in this arena. While no one gets a 100% response rate, and this happens for a variety of reasons, none of which you can control, what you can do is hedge your bets and make the best decisions possible to at least encourage the ladies to have a second look.

Online Dating Icebreaker: Creating a Dialog

The best online dating messages begin with the aim to start a dialog. You're not trying to get into her pants immediately, and you're not trying to be her boyfriend. You want to get to know her better. This makes sense because you've never spoken to her before, and you're writing her a first date message in the hopes that the two of you will decide to go out and see if there's any chemistry there or not. So sending messages that are even remotely sexual in nature, overly intimate, or referring to her by pet names such as “baby” or “honey” are all going to be met with silence. You have to understand the situation thoroughly, and the fewer expectations you go in with, the better off you'll be. So let's review, shall we. You are on an online dating site. You saw a profile of a lady you thought was cute. You now want to strike up a conversation with her and see where it leads. A lot of the time, it's not going to lead anywhere significant, even with perfect technique. Let's talk about why. Some of these ladies on dating sites, especially free dating sites, aren't really interested in meeting anyone new. Some of them are just there for the myriad personality tests. Others are in relationships that are currently pissing them off. Maybe their boyfriend has become aloof recently or she secretly thinks they're cheating on them and wants to do a little emotional cheating herself by setting up a profile on a dating site. Who knows? It probably has nothing to do with you. In any event, if you make the effort and get nothing in return, that's to be expected. Take it on the chin and move on. However, in order to increase your odds, your best bet is going to be to find an interest the two of you share, and make some attempt to talk about it. You don't want to launch into a 2000 work soliloquy. You want to make a single point, and then ask her an open ended question that allows her to easily and comfortably respond by talking about something that she also likes. This is a perfect way to introduce yourself and get the two of you talking to one another. It creates that give and take we mentioned earlier, and that, as always, is the beginning of a relationship. Too many dudes, when writing dating messages, go right for the jugular so to speak. It never works because it assumes a familiarity that isn't there and that has a tendency to creep women out. Your best bet is to remember that you're literally talking to this woman for the first time and act accordingly.