Online Dating: First Message Tips Revealed
Online Dating: Bad Form Exposed!
While most people agree on the general specifics of what does not constitute a good first email message to that cute girl whose profile you have been eyeing, there is much more disagreement surrounding what does make a good first date message.
Examples of a bad first date message include anything with the words “honey”, “baby”, “babe”, “gorgeous”, “beautiful”, or “cutie” in them. Messages that reference your capacity to perform cunnalingus are not examples of effective first date messages. Messages that are composed of less than 2 sentences are not examples of good online dating icebreakers, and messages that ask the girl if she’s into fucking guys up the ass with a giant strap on are likewise a poor choice for an ice breaker message.
Why aren’t these types of messages particularly effective? Let’s go through them one by one.
Firstly, when you refer to a girl you’ve never met before by a pet name reserved primarily for a sexual partners, you insinuating an intimacy over the exchange that isn’t there. It comes across as sleazy. You come across as sleazy. The same holds true for men who talk about their sexual capacities in their profile, or in messages to girls they’re try to woo. Easy trigger. You’re jumping the gun. No dick pics either. Keep it in your pants.
Generic messages, which are like “hey, how’s it going?” or “hey, how are you?” are not effective because they are boring, thoughtless, and could have been sent to half the girls on the site.
Online Dating: Pro Form Revealed!
Online dating ice breakers should be light hearted, positive, and make a single point of reference that connects the two of you. Best bets are shared interests, favorite bands, activities you both enjoy, and things you’re hoping to do. You don’t want to get overly deep into your relationship goals in a first date message. Icebreaker emails are all about creating a back and forth, an energy, a dynamic. For men, being self-deprecating while exuding self-confidence is endearing. It’s ok to be nervous, but if you try to play it cool you come across as phony. You can mention the fact that you’re super great at sending icebreaker messages, but you thought her profile was super cool, and you shared an interest in music, movies, or camping, and you thought it was worth giving it a try. Girls love that. You went out of your way all for little ol’ me? Yay!
Afterwards, mention how cool your thought her profile was and how awesome you think the shared interest is, you can then ask an open ended question that allows her to respond in a comfortable way. You want to make her feel as comfortable as possible, and talking about something you like is a comforting topic.
You don’t want to rant on for 1200 words about it, but a cute story, interesting tid bit of info, and then a question about other stuff she likes or has she ever been to such and such place is a great way to start a back and forth, which is precisely what you’re trying to do.
If you have decent profile pics, a decent profile description, and a decent ice breaker message, you’ll be setting up dates in no time.